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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Husband and I both care about our careers and have well paid jobs (his is both more demanding with travel and higher paid but neither of us just have fun fluff jobs).  We do a fairly reasonable job of splitting our domestic responsibilities but I end up picking up more of it because I'm home while he travels.  In theory neither of us wants traditional gender roles though I'm sure he wouldn't mind having more of the home front responsibilities off his plate.

I have an opportunity to go to a 70% schedule at work.  DH and I agree that if I do this the purpose will be to spend more time with DS, not to take on all of our other domestic work.  While I wouldn't mind doing some more of it, I worry it'll be a slippery slope that once I start taking on more it'll all become mine and when I go back to FT in a couple years it'll never become not mine.

Any experience with this?  Did it shift the power / workload etc balance in your relationship? Did DH start thinking of you as responsible for all of the domestic work even though you were still working outside of the home most days?  Did the balance go back if you went back to work FT?[/quote]

Unless you put up a Household Responsibilities List your husband will continue to think he does a lot (5 things) and you will continue to think you do a lot (25 things) and no one will know what the whole pie looks like. Especially if his father only did a sliver of things plus playtime.

I upshifted jobs when my kids were 2 and 4yo because I was sick and miserable working in my "downshifted" job with imbecile officemates. We made it work, he HAD TO step up. No more coming home "too tired to clean up". No more "I'll save it for the weekend" and missing school things, deadlines, etc.  No more "I'll book that later" and then it sold out or the price drove up.

Parenting is 24/7/365.  If the father of your children does not understand that and contribute, then yes, you have a very traditional old fashioned gender marriage. It's not for everyone. [/quote]

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