Reply to Would you give a second chance?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel sympathetic to the MIL after reading the initial post a couple of times.

Try reading it playing Devil's Advocate.

So, I agree that the MIL's behavior wasn't great at the end but go back to the beginning...her behavior wasn't great after she was pressed but, from what I read in the original post, she seemed to hold it together [u]until[/u] she was pressed.  Yes, she was mopey but she wasn't being a drama queen until she started getting hit with "What's wrong?", "No, really, we can see you're upset, what's wrong?", and then probably getting "MIL, really, we can see you're unhappy, tell us what's wrong", probably with a bit of attitude.  So she finally says what's wrong and OP and her mom blow it off with "well, we spent the day together, [i]of course [/i] (you silly goose) we drove together", which really drives the point home that she was being excluded by the secret club.  Then when she becomes emotional she gets a lot of push-back because she is engaging in drama.

Anyway, reading the post it certainly seems like the drama was sort of thrust on her in a mean-girl kind of way...[/quote]

Slept on this one.  I think that since OP is so close to her Mom that she should plan a different event with her kids with her Mom.

OP should only invite the MIL to the Fall Festival.  It gives OP a second chance with MIL to experience the Fall Festival without the OP/mom dynamic, which seems to not bring out the best in OP or her mother.  I do think that the behavior of OP and her mom drove the dynamic the prior year causing a nervous MIL to become emotionally overwrought when she felt excluded and probably shoved out by OP and her mom.[/quote]

NO.. just NO!!! This rewards the MIL for throwing a tantrum. [/quote]

So? She's not a child to be corrected. [b]And sometimes repairing a relationship and being kind and understanding is more important than being right.[/b] [/quote]
The MIL could use this same advice. It may have been nice for them to drive with MIL, but maybe, for the sake of her relationship with the kids and DIL, it would have been better to be kind and understanding and not make a big deal. [/quote]

[b]Fine, but if everyone always stands on principle, there will never be any rapprochement. Someone has to go first. People on this board are so quick to say "my way or the highway" or "cut them off" or "toxic." Be a little flexible and maybe everyone will be happier. Maybe they won't. But you won't know til you try.[/b] [/quote]

All of this.  [/quote]

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