Reply to DH walked away from lunch date with me and the kids--am I overreacting?

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Reply to "DH walked away from lunch date with me and the kids--am I overreacting?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like he's pretty unhappy about something in your relationship.  Is he telling you what that is?[/quote]

Well, I know what he told me--I suppose it's possible there's something else but I don't have any reason to think so. He said he thinks I'm "always mad at him." So whenever he says something that he knows bothers me and I react in any way at all, he goes into this reaction of "You're ALWAYS so MAD at me" and then he gets mad at me for that. He acknowledges that it doesn't matter if I react angrily or calmly because he "can tell" or "knows" I'm mad underneath.

I think I'm entitled to my emotions and that it's not fair of him to get mad at me if I speak in a normal, calm tone just because he knows I am annoyed by what he said. I think he is also entitled to his emotions but that he has a responsibility to use a normal, calm tone in talking to me. But he seems to think that whenever he perceives I am angry, that justifies him flying off the handle. [/quote]

I don't know, op.  My husband is like this. Perpetually pissed off, seething, critical, angry.  Sure, it's great theoretically that he keeps his tone calm, but good lord, it's exhausting/frustrating/disappointing/annoying to live with.   Tone is one piece of it, but it's not all of it, and probably not the most important part.   If you find yourself constantly mad with him, deal with that.  [/quote]

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