Reply to DH walked away from lunch date with me and the kids--am I overreacting?

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Reply to "DH walked away from lunch date with me and the kids--am I overreacting?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, remember that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of stupidity.  The way you are approaching this "recurring fight" is not productive or going to resolve it.  Think about other ways to positively have the same conversation.  "I am feeling overwhelmed today and it would really help me if you would do X" vs. "You never do X!  I have asked you a million times!  Why do I have to ask you!"  A lot of times, it isn't so much what you say but how you say it.  His feeling like you are mad all the time is a sign you need to improve your communication, if in fact you aren't mad all the time.

I had a period like that last year and my DH made the same comment -- "you seem mad at me all the time, I can't say anything, etc".  So we sat down and figured out what was causing me to be uncharacteristically snappy -- I was really tired, I was shouldering too much, and instead of complaining or asking for help nicely I was doing it all and getting snappy about it.  Now I ask for help nicely when I need it, and we both feel better.  At the same time, he was really stressed from an annoying work thing and hadn't realized how much he wasn't doing at home.  He's gotten better about not bringing so much work stress home and being more "present".

Not sure if that is what is going on with you, but thought I'd set it out there.  It takes work from both sides.  You may need a counselor to help you both see where you can be more supportive and kinder to each other.[/quote]

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