Reply to If you're married, how quickly did you know you were dealing with the "one"?

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Reply to "If you're married, how quickly did you know you were dealing with the "one"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I[b] agree with the PPs who said there is no such thing as the one, but rather there is someone who is a good match at the right time.[/b] (Isn't that romantic?)

I met my now-husband when we were in our mid-30s. We'd both previously been in long term relationships. Both of us had previously imagined getting married to the people we were with, and also with plenty of others - it's the sort of people we are. But neither of us actually ever married those others, and at least in my case it never seemed like a true possibility - it was fun fantasy but would have been bad matches in the end.

With my husband, the first time I met him - we were at the same conference - I had this flash thought of "husband." I didn't take that thought so seriously, but we did talk a lot at that conference and started spending time together.

He tells me he pretty quickly felt like we should be together, for the long haul - it took me a lot longer to get there. He is not my usual type physically or politically; he lived in the suburbs and I was a city person - there were lots of reasons not to be together. He wore a lot of cologne and I thought that was really gross. But over the course of about six months he basically proved himself to be a really really good and smart person who would do his very best to make me happy. That was when I decided that we could be together - and I also basically knew that if we were getting together, we were staying together; this wasn't going to be a light thing.

So, to answer your original question: Had an inkling on the first day; realized for real about six months later after getting to know him very well.
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I don't know that that explains everyone's relationship. One of my close friends has been married since just after college. She married a boy she met in middle school, who told his mother that day that he had met the girl he was going to marry. They "dated" - that innocent, no sex kind, until their first year of high school. Then his family moved across the state, and they barely kept in touch. They coincidentally ended up going to the same college, and reconnected. They have been together ever since, and that was more than 30 years ago.[/quote]

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