Reply to If you're married, how quickly did you know you were dealing with the "one"?

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Reply to "If you're married, how quickly did you know you were dealing with the "one"?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PPs who said there is no such thing as the one, but rather there is someone who is a good match at the right time. (Isn't that romantic?)

I met my now-husband when we were in our mid-30s. We'd both previously been in long term relationships. Both of us had previously imagined getting married to the people we were with, and also with plenty of others - it's the sort of people we are. But neither of us actually ever married those others, and at least in my case it never seemed like a true possibility - it was fun fantasy but would have been bad matches in the end.

With my husband, the first time I met him - we were at the same conference - I had this flash thought of "husband." I didn't take that thought so seriously, but we did talk a lot at that conference and started spending time together.

He tells me he pretty quickly felt like we should be together, for the long haul - it took me a lot longer to get there. He is not my usual type physically or politically; he lived in the suburbs and I was a city person - there were lots of reasons not to be together. He wore a lot of cologne and I thought that was really gross. But over the course of about six months he basically proved himself to be a really really good and smart person who would do his very best to make me happy. That was when I decided that we could be together - and I also basically knew that if we were getting together, we were staying together; this wasn't going to be a light thing.

So, to answer your original question: Had an inkling on the first day; realized for real about six months later after getting to know him very well.
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