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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Glad I didnt screen out my ADHD husband! He's extremely crestive ans brings home enough money to support our family pf 6 with a very comfortable DC life. Clearly with 4 kids and me not working, i take care of thr minutia at home, including bill paying, investments, and maximizing tax savings in addition to the kids school and sports schedule. He only has tp focus on his job and coming home and spending relaxing nights and weekends with us.

I would choose him 100xs over again. Messy car, lost credit cards, and misplaced keys and all.[/quote]

He's probably just a bit scattered and maybe traditionally minded so he "can't" do those things as long as there's a woman around to pick up the slack.  People with ACTUAL ADHD also have serious problems at work and don't manage to have high-earning white collar jobs without a lot of stress on themselves and their families. Maybe there's an exception for more adaptive jobs, but I can't think of what they would be.  [/quote]

You're full of ****.  Show me where in the DSM for ADHD that it says that people with ADHD can't have strong careers.   [/quote]

I agree. So much misinformation. It's like when parents say the kid behaves in school but not at home, so it must not be ADHD, they're probably just willful and/or lazy. A lot of people with ADHD use all their energy to hold it together during school and work, then sort of fall apart when they get home. [/quote]
Um, no ... the actual definition of ADHD is that there are dysfunctions in multiple settings. If there's a grown man who's highly successful at work with no issues who claims he just "falls apart" at home and can't take care of any domestic details ... you've been bamboozled. I know that many people with ADHD are very successful but this is because they make adaptations at work (ie a job where it's ok to be the absent minded genius or where no planning/willpower is required) or they really suffer (see: my DH who procrastinates terribly and takes 12 hrs to do 4 hrs of work).  [/quote]
PP, you are getting ridiculous and it's apparent you have an axe to grind.

FYI, some professions can be the exact match for people with ADHD. It could be that the successful ADHD husband is a computer programmer. It's a fact that people with ADHD can be hyper-focused and computer work is easy to get lost in and can be very structured. It can also be a black hole sucking you in for hours beyond reasonable.

FWIW, when communicating with someone on the phone I almost always doing something else on the computer.[/quote]

I see you can't focus enough to even fully read my posts.

I 100% agree there are jobs that people with ADHD can be suited for.  [b]But what happens if the guy hasn't lucked into that specific career? [/b]And all jobs require some paperwork. What happens when he goes six months without filing needed reports? Generally if the employee is very brilliant otherwise he'll get a pass, but not everyone is that brilliant.

[b]And what happens at home, where there's a lot of detail work and schedules to keep with kids?[/b] If the wife is OK with a traditional marriage where she handles everything, great. If not, trouble.

I do believe that some men with ADHD can be good partners if they are also humble, kind, and aware of their limitations and burdens they cause, and sincerely work on compensating. [/quote]
[b]Lucked into? Anyone under the age of 40 should have had advantages in dealing with ADHD and should therefore have set a course that wouldn't necessitate lucking into a career[/b].

Schedules? People with ADHD often need schedules/lists to follow. Never had a problem with that but when left with nothing written down I would tend to wander off...

As for the rest of your comments...with a small correction I will simply stand with..." it's apparent you have an ax to grind."[/quote]

Wow.  If treating *actual* ADHD were as simple as "setting a course" for schooling/careers that work, then ADHD truly would be no issue at all.  For those who actually have ADHD (moderate/severe) it's a lifelong, chronic condition that require much  more than just blithely "setting a course." I'm not talking about people who just get a little jumpy in an office or prefer a lot of stimulation. I'm talking about people who are truly dysfunctional, who never perform to the level their intelligence would indicate -- flunking out repeatedly, getting fired, accidents that result in serious consequences.  It's not pretty to see.

I know 3 women married to men with fairly severe ADHD (including me).  All of us have very serious careers.  #1 copes by outsourcing a ton and having her mom live with them.  #2 doesn't really cope well at all and has a terrible homelife (she would even say this) that's looking up finally because her DH got on the right meds/therapy.  #3 (me) is somewhere in between -- I outsource as much as I can, and pick and chose the rest, and have a much more difficult life than I wanted.  [/quote]

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