Reply to Help me figure out how to see my grandkids more often!

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[quote=Anonymous]You are whiney and full of excuses. They are very busy and it sounds like they are doing their best to make room for you in their lives, but it will never be enough for you. Of course if you are late to things they won't trust you to pick up the kids! Do you have a full time job? I don't see why you can't drive over at 3 and pick up takeout for dinner. Of course it's an intrusion when you show up and expect to be catered to. Help with homework, bath and bedtime and cleaning up the dishes and then head home. You could offer to fold the kids laundry, unload the dishwasher or whatever if you get to their house earlier. See if you can pick up anything at Target or the grocery store on your way. If you are helpful and happy and pleasant instead of woe-is-me, I can't win, blah blah blah then maybe they will invite you over more.

My relationship with my MIL started off rocky when she felt entitled to have access to my son, her first grandchild, all the time. She would want to come too often and just wanted to hold the baby all day while I ran around doing chores, and would act put-out if I asked for help with something. My SIL explained to her that she would never have a relationship with us if that is how she acted, and she did a 180. Now I LOVE her and we have her over often. They live several states away so she flies up for a week. She is super helpful with the kids, she'll take them to the park, help them clean up their toys, babysit so we can have a date night. The house runs more smoothly when she is here, she pitches in with chores (loading the dishwasher without me having to ask, wiping up food spilled on the floor etc).  She is happy and cheerful and a pleasure to be around. She makes it as easy on us as possible. So I try to stock the fridge with foods and drinks she likes, and we get takeout from her favorite places. If she were a drag to be around and resentful of the time my kids spend with my mom (who lives closer and can come more often), we would probably invite her less. My FIL is useless, he sits in a chair with his iPad and periodically yells at the kids and asks what is for dinner. At my request, he stays home when we fly my MIL in.

If you make yourself more helpful and have a better attitude, these visits will go better for everyone and you will probably get invited more often. [/quote]

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