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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Embrace it.  My MIL is on husband #3. We were all skeptical but they've been together for 20 years and he's lovely as are his kids.  My kids have a big messy family full of people who love them. [/quote]

+1. People are so selfish! OP, if you were remarried three times, you would expect your Dad to embrace the one/ones you love. Such a double standard for you adult children. [/quote]

OP has no problem embracing her father's wife.  She, rightly, shouldn't be expected to offer the same welcome to her 'stepmother's' adult children with whom she did not grow up with.  My widowed mother remarried at 56 to a divorced man with 6 children. His youngest is the same age as my younger brother.    They've been married 25 years.  While my siblings and I (there are 4 of us) are friendly with our 'step-siblings' when we see each other, none of us would ever presume to tag along on a visit.  They've embraced my mother.  My siblings and I embrace their father.  That's it.[/quote]

Thank you for this perspective. This is the kind of relationship I want and have tried to have. I have nothing against my step siblings and their children (my step nieces I guess) but I'm just not interested in them at all. We live far apart. We have nothing in common. All of this seems obvious to me but not to them. They keep asking to visit and when we go visit them they want us to do all these group activities. This makes my position complicated since they seem to want to build a relationship. It feels like a charade to me, completely fake. Our parents have only been married a few years and they aren't super stable. I don't see them being in my life at all 5 years from now, but even if I did, I'm just so not into it.[/quote]

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