Reply to Not going to cheat, but need help getting over emotional infatuation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Distance and time.

This was me a while ago. I've totally forgotten the guy and feeling. I mean, I'll still see him professionally but don't feel the same way at all.[/quote]

I believe you and can't wait to be in that spot.[/quote]

You'll get there. I did try to psychoanalyze myself (ha!) and figure out what this guy had that my husband didn't and it came down to our profession. Our work lives form part of our identity and it's nice that someone understands that side of us very well. But ultimately I wouldn't give up my awesome DH for anything and I just kept reminding myself of how awful life would be for everyone if we had an affair. I couldn't look at my husband and imagine what the kids would think, and rightly so.  Now I see him and I can't even understand why I was so attracted. It'll pass, give it time, focus on other stuff. And know it happens. You're married but not dead. The trick is not to think this is somehow special. It's not. It happens and you deal with it.

You're a good guy OP. Being a good guy is sometimes hard work. :) [/quote]

Wow. I don't feel like a good guy right now since my wife is clueless about the crazy thoughts I've been having, but thank you. You and others have absolutely helped.[/quote]

My man, all of us have this issue at some time or another in some form. I wouldn't be shocked if your wife had it and dealt with it in her own way. Your effort not to act on it without offending your co-worker is admirable. In my case, I was able to use the sexual energy provided to re-invigorate my marriage and our sex life. Everyone gets into ruts and everyone gets comfortable. It's how we deal with those situations that counts.[/quote]

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