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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband has appeared to have checked out as a parent. He's currently between jobs (independent contractor so his next job doesn't start for a few weeks) and I thought it would be a great opportunity for him to spend some time with our two kids (18m and 3yr) and give me a much needed break to run errands (we are renovating two rooms) without the kids. Instead, he spends all day on his phone and the kids are parked in front of the TV all day. I took my oldest today with me and I thought my husband would at least take my youngest out around the block. Nope, got home 2 hours later and my youngest was in front of the TV while my husband was on his phone in the next room. If I'm not around, nobody gets fed, dressed, or anything else. I have never been able to go to a dinner with friends because my husband doesn't know how to get the kids to bed. If I don't plan out the days, he will literally sit in the house with them for hours waiting for me to say "let's go to the park/play date/zoo/etc." If we go out, he's on his phone, scrolling through Facebook or playing words with friends. He's never taken the kids anywhere by himself. Yesterday he told me that he needed time to go to the gym (he's overweight). I told him to take the boys and go on a jog , he told me he can't focus on working out if the kids are around. We go to the pool and I get stuck with the kids while he goes to do laps. If I say anything to him, he accuses me of trying to make him out to be a bad father and he gets emotional. He's not a bad guy, he provides for our family, he's not mean or anything, he's just not very present. I know his own childhood was basically him being put in front of the TV all day and he says he turned out fine, so I don't know how I can get through to him. Any advice on how to get him more involved with the kids? [/quote]

That your version, sounds like you are complaining because you cant dump them on him while you go off. SAHM.....thats your job. [/quote]

That's not fair. We have no family nearby and I'm always on. I've done 100% of the night feedings, I've planned every single outing, I do bath time and bedtime every single night. You're right, being a SAHM is my job, but every job has at least a little bit of time off. My husband works hard but he also gets all his meals prepared, laundry done, house cleaned, and sleeps for at least 8 hours every night plus he gets to sleep in if he's had a tough day at work. If I get sick or have a tough day, there's no one to come in at 5pm and say "alright, you're off the clock now". There has to be some sort of balance. Plus, it's not healthy for the kids to grow up with one parent like that. [/quote]

Honestly I think you guys need counseling even if he doesn't want to you might need to say "this is a hill I'm willing to die on."

Being a SAHM does not mean that one parent gets to view parenting as optional. I agre  that you are in some way culpable for allowing in this dynamic but ultimately it's the real problem is that he is a lousy father.
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