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[quote=Anonymous]so, I come from privilege and my husband's family is more working class, albeit not poor.  so, we have a bit of culture clash from time to time.  Some of it is activity stuff:  I took dancing and gymnastics and piano and horsebackriding and swimming.  DH can't swim (although I keep encouraging him to learn - that one is a legit safety issue), let alone any of the other stuff.  but mostly, we bump along just fine.  and I learn stuff his family did that mine never did.  but he gets frustrated when there is apparently everyday stuff he doesn't know - like table etiquette or something.  And he frequently blames his parents for his lack of knowledge about random stuff that he assumes I know because I'm UMC.  perhaps he is right, I don't know, but my parents grew up working class and they managed to be WONDERFUL parents.

it's fine to want to make sure your kids have the same advantages as their peers.  but mostly just make sure your kids never feel less than because they don't do something that other wealthy families do.  And don't make your kids do stuff they don't like just because it is what wealthy families do.  my siblings and I ditched almost all of those lessons by middle school and focused on the things we had found that we like.    it is WONDERFUL that you can give your kids opportunities that you never had.  but don't push it just to keep up with the joneses; ask lots of questions to discover what is out there and then figure out what seems meaningful and important to YOU.  some UMC  stuff is actually useful or important; lots of it is just noise.

my preschoolers take swim lessons, do yoga with me, we do some worksheets from time to time . . . and that's about it.  we play boardgames as a family.  we tried swim lessons but the older kid hated it; we'll try again next year.  I'd love the kids to take up music lessons but I thought I'd wait until they can focus a little.[/quote]

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