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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why on earth do you want that life?[/quote]

OP here.  I could ask the same of people with many lives, but I don't.  They just aren't for me.  I am a medical researcher and right now I think what I am doing is pretty amazing science that will one day improve the lives of many others in important ways.  But I am not a martyr, and doing this for that reason.   I really love what I do and I love figuring things out.  I love amazing my colleagues when we have breakthrough results.  We are at a point in my research where we may do some things you hear about yourselves in the next 5-10 years on the news and I feel the need to push my research program to that level.  Because I can.

But as long as my goal isn't evil, it shouldn't matter here.  This thread isn't about what I do, it's about how really successful women with families can make some choices that are good for getting as much as they want done, and could really generalize to a variety of people in that situation.  I'm not so naive I think I can "have everything" but the reality is that I am incredibly talented and ambitious and I have kids that I do see and care for and of course will continue to.  I'm not sorry, I'm just going to do the job right (and just not complain about how stressed I am to the other PP, most of the parents of my children's friends have no idea what I do, nevermind that I am super-successful at it) the best I can.

Thanks for this thread otherwise which has been awesome! My nanny  turned into a household manager in her last job and it's great advice to think about that for my house too, and many other tips as well.  Please keep them coming![/quote]

Why on earth do you need to work so many hours? That's what foreign postdocs are for.

I kid (slightly), but I've never worked for a PI who worked crazy hours. They run their labs the way you are talking about running your life -- by assigning almost everything to other people. That includes grant writing, managing grad students, etc. My last PI as a postdoc (at any Ivy League school) was incredibly successful, but we rarely saw her. She certainly wasn't in the lab with me at 3 am. [/quote]

OP here.  Did you read my post or are you just trying to undercut my credibility?

I'm not in the lab at 3 am.  Although my students and postdocs are, as you point out.  I'm in my office 9-5 when I am not traveling, which is a lot of the time, maybe 5 days a month.  And while yes, my students do tons of the everyday management, my postdocs more, there are a lot of things I must do.  I chart the direction of the lab, build coalitions for center grants - I am working on two of those now, finish writing a lot of grants and edit everything that comes out of the lab.  No PI doesn't read their own papers.  And I spend a lot of time working with funding agencies on their priorities.  This week I am at a meeting to discuss these things and the results of my funding.  Don't think the federal government spends millions of your tax dollars without paying attention to what happens to it.

And the PIs you are thinking about (I am also a professor at a similar school) are more senior than me.  (Note the age of my kids, and I am not a man who can have kids at 50).  I am still making my name.  Yes, people 10 years ahead of me can work fewer hours but I am still creating the reputation and lab environment you took for granted.  To build that I need to work hard right now.   And yes, I delegate more and more at work, but the question here that I cannot ask my colleagues is how I balance home, particular as my kids are no longer infants and I play less of a direct physical role.  [/quote]

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