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Reply to "DH is a superficial ass"

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[quote=Anonymous]So, reading through this 2 things stick out to me about your reaction.

1) you seem very hung up on the fact that you think he should find you attractive unconditionally. But loving someone unconditionally and being attracted to them unconditionally are two separate things. If he had said "you are too fat, I don't love you anymore"...that's one thing. While obviously it's not ideal for someone to get married and then drastically change their body type (bc, presumably, their spouse was attracted to their body as-was), yes: if they love you, it should be unconditionally...regardless of weight / appearance / etc. But being attracted to them, that's a more primal force; like it or not, people (men especially) are visual creatures. You like what you like, and to some extent you can't help that. Bringing us to:

2) obviously him saying this really hurt you, and I'm not saying you're unwarranted in feeling that way. I don't know how he said it, obviously, and it's probably a different story if he came from a place of love and honesty as opposed to rudeness and criticism. That said, why is wanting to be attractive for / to your spouse such a bad thing in your mind? I'd venture to say it's something many married people actively strive for...the whole "I'll lose it for myself, NOT for him" thing kind of rubbed me the wrong way [/quote]

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