Reply to Wait until Spouse has job to initiate divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, talk to an attorney. For alimony and custody issues, it's one thing if the non-working parent is a dedicated SAHP providing substantial care to the children in lieu of holding a job. In your case, it sounds like the kids are in school/daycare all day, and most of his time with them is what would be after-work hours anyway. If it's been his choice not to look for more work, that will change the picture for alimony significantly. Alimony isn't meant to support someone who just doesn't feel like getting a job, it's meant to support a spouse who left the workforce (or took reduced hours) in order to be home and care for the family (and thus the other spouse in their career), and now will need time to get fully back into the workforce at a liveable wage.[/quote]

All I can tell you is what my lawyer told me in Montgomery County: it does not matter that your DW sits on the couch all day and watches TV, it does not matter that you make breakfast for the kids and walk them to school because DW won't get out of bed, it does not matter that you help them with their homework and make dinner every night, it does not matter that you take them to every doctor and dentist appointment and every extracurricular.  Your DW is still going to say she is the SAH parent and will win in court on that point.  I only got shared custody because she was dumb enough to take my offer.

OP's DH is a modern hero to men.  He's doing to a woman what they've been doing to us.

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PP did you have to pay alimony and if you two owned a house were you required to buy her out or give her portion of the proceeds from the sale? [/quote]

It was negotiated so I did much better than what the court might have done to me.  50-50 shared custody, I pay significant child support to her because her income is zero, house refinanced and she got half the equity, and I pay alimony for six years but it can't be revisited.  She wanted a quicker divorce (she filed) and a big payout up-front so that she can follow her dreams of travel to Europe and India.

In 10 years she will be 61, with no job, no child support, no alimony, no health care, and no real retirement beyond taking Social Security off of my earnings (half my benefit, about $1,200 a month).  Her only hope is to find another man who doesn't mind a dirty house, no dinner, and a wife who lives on the couch with the TV on 12 hours a day.

She still isn't working and the children have been the biggest losers in this because there is no money for their college, even if they go in-state.  
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