Reply to Why do you let your kid run around at a restaurant?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.[/quote]

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?[/quote]
I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold.  inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people. [/quote]

It is a tough situation made harder by your in-law's thoughtlessness, and I sympathize with you because we have many of the same issues (child with SN who also has trouble sitting still and quiet at a restaurant, and relatives who don't take his needs seriously). I disagree, though, that this justifies letting your child run around a restaurant, even with an adult along to supervise. Not only is it incredibly rude to the other diners around you, but you create a safety hazard for the wait staff. All it takes is your child bolting before the adult can stop him, or the adult getting distracted for a moment (e.g., looking back at the table to see if food has arrived yet and they can bring your child back) and missing that your child has run in the path of a waiter with a full-laden tray of meals. Your in-laws are being unfair to you, but you are the one who has the responsibility to deal with it appropriately, you can't just push their poor judgment onto other people who have no say in whether your child comes to a restaurant.[/quote]

Two of my kids have ADHD/ASD and I understand how challenging restaurants are.  This immediate PP is correct.  Your child having SNs doesn't get you a pass to let him run around the restaurant.  I get how much it sucks - I can't count the number of times one or both of us (me or DH) had to pass on an event because someone had to stay with the kids.  Our relatives were very understanding but we never expected them to cater to us.  It's just as inappropriate for the kids to run around their houses as it is for them to run in the restaurant.  But, that's life with a kid with SNs.[/quote]

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