Reply to He loves me, has great benefits, good income, sex is terrible

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 46 and single. I have 2 kids. I own my own home, and make a decent amount of money to support my kids and myself.
I've been dating a very nice guy. He is 45 as well, never married, never had kids. Very career focused. He has great benefits, makes a good amount of money (about equal to me). He has saved and invested a ton of money, while I have spent most of mine raising my kids on my own. I am not broke. I am ok. My benefits at work are not great at all.

He has a good future ahead of him, retirement etc.   He wants to get married. He loves me, loves my kids ( 17,15). I love him.  My only hesitation is that in bed, he is practically dead. It's me doing it all.
He doesn't decline sex, he just doesn't do, well, much of anything. His personality is not a very touchy feely type. We hold hands, when I take his hand. he kisses me every day. Passionately, no, but he kisses me. He hugs me. He tells me he loves me.

At my age, do I commit to a crappy sex life, but a secure future for me and my kids, or do I wait for the whole package?
Can I live with this type of sex life, I think so.  
Not having to worry about benefits or retirement and just feeling overall secure financially for me and my kids for the rest of my life is very appealing.

I'm not looking for his money, I have college savings accounts started for both of my kids. I have my own 401K and it's decent.

Do I want to be alone for the rest of my life, NO. I've been alone long enough and love the comfort of a partner.

What do I do?
[/quote]

I see this kind of question come up so many times and I always am amazed at how this becomes a choice of "Do I dump him, or do I just accept that my husband/boyfriend will be bad in bed forever?" as if there are no other possible choices.

Why not just bring up the issue with him? It doesn't have to be that big of a deal. I'd want to know if I was in his position. Maybe he can change thing up. [/quote] I am the OP, I have absolutely brought it up, I would never not bring it up. He has tried here and there to change. I just think he's not good in bed, not a huge priority for him either. I have tried to teach him things, shown him things, let him watch. He is just not a very sexual person. [/quote]

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