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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't tell him "It bothers me to hear the way she treats you." Then you make it about your feelings, and now he has to feel responsible for those, too. Do tell him the rest: that he deserves better treatment, that he's a good person, etc. Your husband is taking the approach of the willow that bends in the wind.

How often do you see your MIL? Does she come to your house or you go there? Does your husband have siblings?  I'm fascinated that she expects you to go on a two-week trip with her. Do you and your husband get a lot of vacation time?[/quote]

When she is in town (she does go on long trips to her home country) we visit her house more often than she visits ours.  DH has a big family and we are expected to join in for family stuff nearly on a weekly basis.  If we host something at our house, she always tries to micromanage it rather than just relaxing and being a guest (i.e. she'll want to cook during a party bc there is not enough food....but there is more than enough, she just has to criticize and/or feel in control of something)

No, we don't have tons of vacation time - she doesn't care.  She wants to go right smack in the middle of the school year even, because that is her preferred season to travel.

Yes, 3 sibs.  Oldest is classic people pleaser to the extreme.  MIL calls her "my only obedient child."  This "child" is pushing 50 by the way.

The other 2 have problematic relationships with her, but love her.  They also significantly rely on her for money, so there is that.

One of my SIL's started having panic attacks and severe anxiety a few years ago and got help.  She is better managing now - and identified in her therapy work that the main trigger of her anxiety is, yup, you guessed it, her mother.

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