Reply to Should I force the issue - overweight teen boy and swim shirt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PP.  I would be concerned if my son or daughter were overweight at 16.  It doesn't mean you're ashamed of him or don't love him.  Geez, people.   I hope you can help him adjust his eating habits and become more active both for health AND self-esteem reasons.  And, yes, throw a shirt in the bag in case he ends up changing his mind.  More importantly, encourage him to take walks on the beach, go bike riding, swim, and try to model healthy eating at home and when out. [/quote]

It's the wording--pejorative adjectives based solely appearance. Sure, I have a son and I want to protect him from feeling bad about himself, but I have found that when I sound overly critical *I'm the one making him feel bad.* I'm sure OP loves her son, and this is probably coming from a place of love, but it's misguided and hurtful. 
I have been married almost 20 years to wonderful, attractive man who struggles with his weight-- we rarely talk about it, and when we do, it's about how it may be affecting his health (cholesterol, heart disease, etc.). All of the self esteem questions and worries about appearance generate from him--not from me. [/quote]

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