Reply to Considering Divorce

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Considering Divorce"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  I'm about 8 months into the divorce process, and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that divorce isn't always. A key to happiness.  You will have new sets of problems.  Less money.  You may need to move.  You get your kids less often.  Your kids will deal with emotional trauma, and possibly anger and rage as a result.  Their schoolwork may suffer.  Once they are older, they may choose to live with their father, and often time judges will let older kids have their say.

Dating with kids is tough.  Even if you find someone, blended families are a million times more challenging.  assuming your DH remarries, your kids will spend holidays with step relatives who don't care about them, and your kids are old enough to know it.

Your future step children may hate you.  Your future beau may have an ex from hell.

I just point this out because it isn't like you are picking between your "meh" life and happiness.

It sounds to me like you are expecting your husband to make you happy.  Happiness is a choice.  Wherever you go, there you are.  You need to be a happy person.

Marriage with kids is hard.  Hard, hard, hard.  It sucks the lives from many marriages.  Some people buckle down and push through.  Some have affairs.  Some leave.

At the end of the day, you need to be responsible for your own emotions and stop expecting someone else to make you happy. [/quote]

Thanks for this reality check. I'm in a similar situation to OP and have been thinking about the possibility of divorce. But you're right that I'd be trading one set of problems for another, and there's no guarantee that the grass is greener on the other side. [/quote]

Same here.  My marriage hasn't been good for the last several years.  DH is a good dad, son, brother, etc.  We just tend to bring out the worst in each other.  I sometimes daydream of leaving after a nasty argument.  But then reality sets in that it would be a nightmare for all involved.  Shuttling kids between 2 households.  Them crying for their Dad when with me or for me when with him.  They do that already even when he's out to the store or at work.  So on we go in our loveless, sexless, and roommate-like marriage.  It sucks but it would probably suck even more being divorced.  One thing that's a sobering thought for me always is that my DH would eventually date or marry someone else who would be a stepmom to my children and my children would have to live with her and have her be their "other mother".  That thought alone makes me nauseous because what if she's not nice to them, or has her own children that she favors openly?  As much as I want my personal happiness, I will try to stick it out as much as I can.  Yes, by the time my kids will be in HS I will be in my early 50s.  And it sucks being unhappy and seeing your spouse unhappy.  Our children deserve to see parents who are loving and sweet to each other.  But maybe that's just not possible :([/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics