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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH and I have been having problems for a while and have been in counseling for almost a year.  He says he loves me very much and just didn't know how to show it before.  Counseling isn't working for me though.  All that time he didn't know how to show me he loved me, my love for him was dying and it's not coming back.  I don't hate him.  I like him.  I just don't have any romantic or sexual feelings for him and I don't think any amount of counseling or date nights, or vacations will help.  It would be an easy decision for me to leave if we didn't have kids -- 11, 9, and 7.  How do I do that to them?  How do I wrap my head around not having them live with me full time?  To not share the holidays as a family?  To not attend services together every week as a family?  To having my DH hate me?  I feel so selfish thinking about even leaving.  I waffle back and forth constantly.  After a nice vacation with the family I think I definitely don't want to leave.  But after a few weeks of standard life, I'm back to thinking I can't do this forever.  I have been in individual counseling for the last few months and it's not helping me make a decision, I just keep waffling and waffling.  Living in a gray world where I'm not happy but not absolutely miserable.  Have others in this situation left and been happy?  Left and regreted it?  Stayed?[/quote]

If your life is the way you described, then divorcing would be incredibly selfish.  You like your husband.  He isn't abusing you.  He loves you "very much".  You go on nice vacations. You have three young children.  What exactly are you expecting from your life by way of bliss?  You're spending too much time navel gazing and taking the temperature of your happiness gauge.   Go do something to make you happy, take a hobby, find a class, whatever!  Do you think you will be happy divorced? It will be another kind of misery, but this time with the understanding that you've screwed up four more lives, and possibly impoverished your  children.  What do you want to go through this for? What is the great thing waiting for you at the end of this trip?  Do you honestly think couples after sixty years of marriage have romantic or sexual feelings for each other? Liking each other and the satisfaction of the path walked together is what most of the have left, and it's not a bad deal. At all. You could do a lot worse. [/quote]

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