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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
I apologize if this belongs in explicit, but I don't intend to get to graphic. I've been married for 14 years and have 2 kids in elementary school. DH is a good father, and a reasonably good husband - not the most romantic guy, and sometimes inconsiderate, but mostly good - helps around the house, can be a bit abrupt at times, but by no stretch is he mean or abusive. Our sex life together has never been that great. It's hard for him to make me orgasm through oral, and that's the only way I could ever do it with anyone. Sex is rather quick and just not that satisfying. It was never great, but it is starting to bother me more than it used to. I feel like I deserve to enjoy having sex and am afraid I never will again. I don't think it is anything about DH's looks that is turning me off - he's gained a bit of weight, but nothing terrible, works out, keeps clean, nice hair. I wish he would be more romantic and pay more attention to me outside of sex, but there's really nothing terribly wrong about his personality either. I'm not sure what to do - I want to like sleeping with him, and I don't want to find anyone else. I told him this is bothering me, and he brought a book about how to perform oral sex, but it didn't help him. What can I do to help fix this (and please do not say have an affair or find someone else, because I don't want to)?

I don't think this is about sex at all. DH is a "reasonably good husband" "Not the most romantic" "sometimes inconsiderate" .... "I wish he'd be more romantic and pay more attention to me outside of sex"

So ... I think you need to work on your relationship before you work on the sex.[/quote]

OP here.  We probably do - and that means me as well as him.  I guess the point that I was trying to make was that, compared to most of the husbands I see described here, DH is a great catch.  I know that.  I want to improve things between us.[/quote]

how does your DH feel about his sex life? Does he feel you are really good in bed? Are you creative and exciting in how you stimulate him and arouse him? Would he consider you to be focused on his satisfaction and on him? Or is the sex mostly about meeting your needs?[/quote]

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