Reply to Are you a "Dream Hoarder"? I am, apparently

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Are you a "Dream Hoarder"? I am, apparently"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My take away from this is that there are all of this little social cues and social capital that we all take for granted that ends up keeping poorer people out of certain things.

The article David Brooks wrote resonated with me. I am going through the college selection/application process now with my kid and it actually turns my stomach to think about all of the ways disadvantaged kids are shut out and all of the hurdles that you have to cross.  And how we get sidetracked by stuff like affirmative action. Here are some of the challenges I can think of:

-living in a neighborhood with good schools and good guidance counselors and college application support
-being the academic track to take AP classes or the right classes
-Being able to afford multiple AP tests
-Being able to afford multiple ACT/SAT tests
-Having solid academic support or being able to afford tutors or have the social capital to know where to go to get help at low cost
-Understanding the college application process, deadlines, financial aid process
-Having the confidence to even apply for top schools
-Knowing how to connect with admissions officers
-Being able to visit schools

Obviously everyone wants the best for their kid, but I never really thought about how I am contributing and participating in this system that actually leaves others behind.  For me this is just one of those conversations that is food-for-thought and has given me a lot to think about.  [b]I am also Black so thinking about this is actually torture.[/b][/quote]

I am Asian and there are plenty of poor Asian immigrants. My oldest has a classmate - good kid, very polite, very confident, popular among his peers. His parents are blue collar workers, one is a cashier and the other one is a restaurant cook. They don't buy fancy clothes, no fancy hair cuts, old Japanese beater cars, they bought into an affordable corner of the good school pyramid, and send their kid to many of the tutoring workshops that are popular with Asians. That kid was always in the GT program and currently has better grades than mine in the same classes. I don't know if he is going on a college tour, my guess is no, but I wouldn't be surprised if his parents scrimped and saved to make that happen. He is kind, happy, and very hard working, just like his parents. Yet he knows that despite all his efforts and those of his parents, a college admission officer will favor a black student over him because of his race. You telling me this is a more fair state of affairs?[/quote]

So we can't have a conversation about this because you made it about race and you used one anecdote (the exceptional poor Asian) to justify your position. If you look at the list of things I listed, these are activities and norms that are part of the college process for UMC families. It is difficult for poor families of any color to crack all of that to gain admission to top schools.During the college selection process, I've been trying to put myself in the shoes of parents who may not have attending college, don't have friends or family that went to college, don't have money or well-informed guidance counselors, and live in communities that may not support academic achievement. It is difficult for poor families of any color to crack all of that to gain admission to top schools. While I think personal responsibility is part of the equation, there are still systemic problems that go far beyond what an individual family can overcome.  It's not just about priorities.

Have a great life![/quote]

I didn't make this about race, the original PP brought up race, as if being black is especially difficult. Yes I  used an anecdote, but Asian performance in the US is broadly recognized, and note that I don't even have to specify what kind of Asian, as Asia includes a broad range of cultures and skin colors. The activities you listed are all within the reach of any american family, including those with poor economic status. Poor Asian families do this all the time, what's so different with black families - are they less capable? is there some invisible hand that holds back only poor black families and not poor Asian families? Life is absolutely about choices and priorities, and if one make poor choices, and prioritize the wrong things, then one's life will not be as good. It is not someone else's fault.

Frankly I am shocked that the social state of the US has degraded to the point where one's inherited advantages and general achievement in life is held up for question. What's next, am I going to be on the hook for a program that makes up for single-parent households because intact families represent a privilege that single-mother/father children don't have the benefit of? This is not a slippery slope question, because as soon as you disconnect a person's life achievement from the choices he makes, and places the burden somewhere else, this by necessity mean that the only way to achieve the desired end goal is to eliminate all cases of inequality. How do we make up for the lack of athletic prowess of Asians in the US world of professional sports? I find the situation appalling. Asian parents often don't know about all of the various sports programs, swim teams, or travel soccer teams that exist. The situation is leaving Asians behind and thinking about this as an Asian is actually torture. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics