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Reply to "How to handle, son with black friends that use the 'n word'"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They are black-- they can say that word however they want to use it. Your family is white – you may not use it. It's pretty easy to explain--people can use terms referencing their own culture that outsiders may not. [/quote] This is spot on.[/quote] Agreed. My son is 17, but is also on a basketball team that is predominately black. The kids he's friends with have even told him he can use the N-word (apparently, there's a difference when there's an "a" at the end as opposed to an "er") with them, but we told him that he should not use that term (in any spelling or format), even if his friends say it's ok. [/quote] Same. We told our son that he cannot say it with an a on the end, even if his friends tell him he can, even if his other white friends use it. It's not a word we allow in our house, in any form. His friends also know that it's not a word we allow in our house and they try to be mindful of not saying it. Not saying it doesn't happen, but now not every other word out of their mouths isn't 'n---a.' I felt I had a right to ask his friends not to use that word when in my house. I don't feel like I have the right to ask his friends not to post pictures or tag my son in pictures and use that word. I also can't control what they say when we're out in public together. One of his black friends went with us to a Nats game a few weeks ago and told us that his cousin worked at the concession stand there and would hook us up. I kind of just laughed, but when we first arrived and went to get food, he found his cousin and said, "this is my n---a and his family, so be nice to them." Other white people near us gave us a look and I was embarrassed, but I have no right to control or correct his speech when out in public. I'm not his parent. [/quote]
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