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[quote=Anonymous]I think most therapists don't remain neutral.

In my first marriage, we had a male counselor. He always took my XH's side but I think it was because much of what my XH did didn't seem egregious without the full context and I had trouble articulating everything that happened. I'd get upset, physically shake, forget important details, and shut down verbally rather than risk seeming like a hysterical woman. Then, there came a day when I called for an emergency appointment over an incident that took place between 9 pm and 6 am over email. I forwarded the emails to our therapist and it was a total revelation for him. He finally got what I'd been saying. In that session, he told my XH that he was wrong and he understood why I wanted a separation. Of course, after that my XH refused to ever see that therapist again.

Before I remarried, my new DH and I saw a religious based practice with a married couple. So helpful! I also saw a separate therapist on my own. It helped isolate me issues from us issues. There are things that I didn't say in premarital counseling because I'd already had a practice run. It totally helped to see my issues with my future in laws as me issues and not us issues, BTW. Once I stopped expecting my DH to act as a broker, I learned how to manage my inlaws on my own and our relationship improved. [/quote]

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