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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This makes no sense, OP. Since you are Jewish you know this. It is unthinkable that an uncle, aunt and first cousins would not be invited to the bar mitzvah unless there was a specific reason/falling out - a bar mitzvah is a life cycle event, you invite family (heck, you don't even need to be invited to go to the service). DH would know this, as would his parents, as would his brother. So the fact that all of them are implying that you are overreacting is just ... crazy. There must be more to this, and if your DH wants to attend even though his wife and children are not invited, that tells me that he knows what is going on and isn't telling you, a major breach in your relationship IMO. I would directly say this to my dh, not just assent to his going and then let it chip away at our relationship in a passive aggressive fashion. [/quote]

You're being gaslighted, OP.  First by your in-laws who are insisting you are "making this about you" and then by your husband.  This situation is beyond bizarre.  It seems to me you have two choices.  You either show up as a family of four, for everything -- Bar Mitzvah and all associated events or you all stay home.  All of you.  You tell your husband to pick between the two.  If he can't or won't get on board or wants to go without you, I think it's time for marriage counseling.[/quote]

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