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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd have your husband go, plan something fun for you and your girls (maybe go visit your own relatives?), and try to get to the bottom of it after the bar mitzvah. I would let your husband know that BIL and family will NOT be invited to your girls' bat mitzvahs if this is how you and the girls are treated. But don't stop him from going, since you will always be blamed for that.

Bar mitzvahs are large and all kinds of people get invited, so to exclude an aunt-by-marriage is very strange and very pointed. Tell your husband that after the bar mitzvah, he needs to get to the bottom of it. And point out to him that if things were better in the past, that's your BIL and SIL's fault, not anything you did or are doing. [/quote]

Yep.  [/quote]

I agree.  I also understand how this is a chink in your marriage and agree with the PPs that suggest counseling to work through.  No way in f'ing hell should you invite them to your kids' bat mitzvahs.

My DH's sister married a Reformed Jew and converted to Judaism.  Their events are inclusive of the non-Jewish side.  We are with them on Yom Kippur, go to bar/bat mitzvahs, seder, etc.  My SIL never stopped being my DH's sister even though she's now Jewish. [/quote]

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