Reply to I don't deal well with melodrama, please help.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi guys, it's me, OP again. I'm checking in this thread again to vent. Here are some examples of her behavior since my last posting:

her: Texts me a bunch of selfies of her in a row
me: "Cute"
her: "That's it?? Thought you would like the pictures more than that??"

her: "Come pick me up or something"
me: "Why, don't you have  car?"
her: "Yeah but I want you to be stuck with me. Why haven't we ever spent a whole day together???"

me: "Hey how's your day today?
her: "Okay. Text me back since you never do"

DCUM, I am really trying to forge a relationship with a person I don't know who is biologically my sister. I want to pursue this with her, but I find her behavior confusing and frustrating. Am I a bad person? Please tell me how to not be annoyed by this constant focus on "the relationship" and temperature taking.

[/quote]

OP this isn't melodrama - it's straight up passive aggressive.  If you really want to have a relationship with her, be straightforward and ignore the PA stuff:

me: I call her, she doesn't respond for 3 days (which I am totally fine with btw)
her text: "Mad I missed your call since you never call me". (Keep in mind she still has never called back, just texts.)
You:  Sounds like you're upset I don't call you very much.  I'll try and make more of an effort to call you, but it's really hard since we've been sick and the kids...and blah blah whatever.

her: Texts me a bunch of selfies of her in a row
me: "Cute"
her: "That's it?? Thought you would like the pictures more than that??"
You:  I do love the pictures. Are you upset with my response?

her: "Come pick me up or something"
me: "Why, don't you have  car?"
her: "Yeah but I want you to be stuck with me. Why haven't we ever spent a whole day together???"
You:  Sis, you seem upset that I can't spend as much time with you as you'd like.  Let's try and find a date that we can hang out.

me: "Hey how's your day today?
her: "Okay. Text me back since you never do"
You:  Sis, I just texted you, yet you say that I never text you.  Are you upset about something?

Then take her at her word.  if she says, "no, everything is fine" than drop it and believe her.  But all these texts have the same underlying issue - she wants you to put in way more time than you are able to.  You should call her and talk to her about it.  Maybe say "I love you, but with kids, work (or whatever) it's really hard for me to find time to text all the time or call.  I hope you understand.  Maybe we can commit to seeing each other one afternoon every month (or whatever you can do)."[/quote]

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