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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  We had several friends at our wedding who already had kids and guess what, they found a way to NOT bring their kids to the wedding.  Destination wedding is "low class"?  Really?  Then so is a wedding in your grandma's backyard.

My parents are well aware that my brother and I don't get a long.  We are very, very different and have different family values.  Like...when our father is in the hospital with a heart attack, maybe, just maybe you should come and visit him?  Or if your parents loan your the money for car repairs, maybe, just maybe you should repay your two elderly parents?  Or at least say "thanks, guys?"

I don't see their kids as "siblings" for my child.  They are spoiled and ill-mannered.  They are rude and obnoxious.  Why would I want my kid around someone like that?[/quote]

So why did you bother posting this then? Just do what you want.[b] It's clear you have a major grudge and are unwilling to let it go.[/b] Fwiw- I agree with the PPs that[b] you are not without blame for this situation, but until you see that it's pointless to try to resolve things with your brother.[/b] [/quote]

This.  Yes, the brother and SIL acted ungraciously, but Christ on a cracker, that was how long ago?  OP's reaction was to cut them off and hold a grudge for years.  And when her SIL sent a perfectly normal message congratulating her on the birth of a child, OP interprets it in the worst possible way.  OP, making an effort to develop a minimally polite and civil relationship with your brother and SIL is not a favor you are bestowing on them, or a prize they have to earn.  Lots of people have differences with their siblings or other family members, and most of them can still manage to say hello at family events.  You are not the innocent victim here--indeed, you sound pretty toxic yourself.  You have made a choice to nurture anger and resentment for years instead of putting things in perspective.  You will probably never be close to your brother, but you could accept an overture and be at least polite and gracious in response.   [/quote]

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