Reply to 3 mos in, are we done?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, I guess I'm taking it slowly relative to him. He wanted to meet my family, I'd like to give it some time. He wanted me to meet his kids when they came home for the summer, I offered that they probably only care that he's happy, and to tell them all about us if he wants. But they just don't need to meet me after only 12 weeks. Of course I'd like to meet them eventually. We need to get further along though.

So I'm trying to pump the brakes. But am I invested? Sure. I guess it's hard to hold back emotionally; I've  missed companionship, holding hands, etc. Great sex doesn't hurt either. I'm talking simple stuff. That's what happiness is for me. Not so much grand gestures. I'm 39 and he's 50; I figure  we're too old for that stuff anyway. :)

To the posters calling me batshit, look I'm not proud of my behavior last night. I don't enjoy that kind of thing, and I agree I let insecurity get the best of me. It's just hard not to feel discouraged. I'm in the best shape of my life, financially independent, and have a great kid with a no-drama ex. I'd like to share my life with someone. But perhaps he's not that guy. Anyway thanks for the perspective.[/quote]

Wow OP, you are my Rship board twin! I'm about the same age, also single mom with a young child, and also dating a guy JUST like you described, except we've been dating 6 months.

You are not crazy! These posters saying that just don't understand the dynamics of what you're going through with this guy. But my dear, I completely understand you and feel your pain. It is confusing, it is frustrating. It is not right how he is treating you, and from my experience with my own flaky ambivalent guy, it will not change or get better. I urge you to google "ambivalent man" to understand what you're dealing with.

Run for the hills now, before you get suckered in any further emotionally. I've been suckered in a little longer than you, and it's becoming harder and harder to walk away everyday because his pull is very seductive. He knows how to lay on the charm, especially to this tired, single mama who thoroughly enjoys the attention and affections. But when he gets into his distant "push" phase, I feel like shit, not knowing what's what or where we stand. No clarity about our present or future, even after six months.

So my advice is to leave him alone, and continue dating, with him out of the picture. And remember the signs and how this experience made you feel, so you can recognize this game the next time a guy tries to play it on you.

Good luck OP![/quote]

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