Reply to Why Is It Acceptable To Highlight The Cost Of My Kid's School?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People ask where my kid is going to school this fall.  It's a top-10 USNWR school, so when I tell them, the response is either:

1) Congrats! 
2) Wow, that's expensive.

Why is #2 a socially acceptable response?

If somebody tells you where they live or the car they drive, would you respond "that's expensive"?

To be honest, all the people who have said this to me are nice folks.  They aren't jerks...which makes the response even more puzzling.

Thoughts?  All snark welcome.[/quote]

are you afraid to answer?
Do you not want to tell them you're getting financial aid?  
Or are you reluctant to tell them you need any financial aid?

I mean these schools are costing 65K +.  For most people it is a big issue.
[/quote]

[b]OP here.  You ask if I'm afraid to answer...when somebody says "that's expensive", that isn't a question...it's just fishing for a response.  To be honest, if somebody asked me any of the questions you list, I would answer.[/b]
[/quote]

??? Saying "that's expensive" is like saying the sun comes up in the east.  We all know that.
Is your problem that they're making an obvious point?  A little confused.[/quote]

NP. The problem is that it's simply tacky and rude to blurt about the cost of, well, anything. I do agree with the PP who notes that her DH (and others) sometimes just say things like this without thinking and editing before it jumps out of their mouths, and don't intend to be rude. But those with a filter need to use it when something obviously expensive like college is the subject of discussion.

If I mention that my kid does extracurricular activity X, it's impolite for someone to say, "Oh, those fees must add up!" Or if a friend mentions he's going on a trip overseas, it would be rude and rather weird for my comment to be, "That's expensive" instead of "What do you hope to see?" And so on. What people pay for things is not up for discussion unless it is the actual point of the discussion, like when friends are comparing prices because they're both in the market for a certain type of item. But OP is referring to reactions to the initial news about where her kid will go -- OP isn't referring to discussions about financial aid or tuition payment options.[/quote]

OP here.  Totally agree.  If somebody tells you about a car or house or anything else where somebody has made the choice to spend more $$$ than usual, the response "that's expensive" would be considered impolite.  And yet people (who I still consider to be nice, polite individuals) have no problem saying "that's expensive" in response to a college.  I don't think they would feel as free to make a similar comment about someone's house, car, etc.  The fact that it's college somehow removes the inhibitions.  I find that interesting.[/quote]

But they do, actually, say similar things about cars (ooh, so fancy!). With colleges, people know the price. It seems unremarkable to me as a comment, and what's odd is that you seem to be bothered. Why?[/quote]

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