Reply to How important is a 40th wedding anniversary

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How important is a 40th wedding anniversary"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.[/quote]

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday.  I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on.  I'm not sure why people are bashing me, [b]I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary[/b].  My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th.  My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.[/quote]

Here's the thing.  In our culture, after you reach adulthood, generally you don't celebrate every birthday or anniversary, but you celebrate milestones.  Yes, 40 is arbitrary, but it is customary to consider decennial anniversaries milestones.  However, milestones are only important if they are important to the honoree.  When they are important to the honoree, it is important that loved ones take the time to give them that recognition.  Yes, 40 is somewhat arbitrary, but it means something to your in-laws.  They have chosen to celebrate this milestone and they have asked for your attendance.  If you don't go, it shows that you value random strangers children whose birthdays you attend every weekend more than your husband's parents.  That's a harsh message to send.  And you can't equate it with having just seen them recently, because that wasn't an event centered around a milestone for which they want acknowledgment.

The baby will not notice the acknowledgment of his/her first birthday milestone.  The only memories will be photos and videos.  You can take those on any day to acknowledge the first birthday include the weekend before and the weekend after.  When the child is old enough to care, those photos and videos will be the same whether offset by a week in either direction.  However, your in-laws will already notice that you did not choose to honor their milestone.  It may cause some deterioration of your relationship.  And whether or not they are in good health, the may still not be around for their next milestone.  My godmother was in her 70's but very healthy.  She went out to her car one day and while standing at the driver's door unlocking her car, a car came down the street and sideswiped her and her car.  She was killed at the scene before emergency medical care could arrive.  I have regrets that I hadn't seen her in several years since she moved to the West Coast.  Don't cause either yourself or your husband regrets.  Go to the milestone anniversary.  Reschedule or cancel anything else that may cause you to be too busy or too tired or too whatever to want to commit to this.   [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics