Reply to Teenage Brother Yet to Call or Acknowledge My 4 mo Baby's Birth

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Tough to read, but I know that you're all pretty much right. I've definitely pushed him away by trying to control him. It's not so much that I care that he has no interest in college, it's that I feel like he's never been told that he's smart enough and capable enough for it. Or consistently challenged in any way. Pretty much every adult in his life (myself included) have failed him in that regard. I've got a lot of guilt about leaving home (and him) after high school and not seeing him frequently enough in the years since, and so I think I try to compensate for it by squeezing in every bit of unsolicited advice that I can when I do talk to/see him. Clearly that's not helping anyone.

I'll talk to him. I know it's unfortunately going to be at least a few years before we feel more like siblings rather than the adult/child relationship that it is now.

[/quote]

It's good you can see it, OP.

If you've never been to therapy, now's the time. You've got a lot to unpack here.[/quote]

OP, maybe try saying some of this to him.  That you feel guilty you left him, that you are trying to squeeze all of this parenting into your time with him, that you are sorry you are doing that.  That you want to shift to enjoying him and supporting him, as a sister, not a mother.  See what he says.

But yes, you can't expect much hooplah from a teenage boy about a baby.  Send him funny pictures from time to time (those accidental baby middle flicking someone off pics are meant for teens) and find positive things to discuss with him.  Try to support who he is.  [/quote]

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