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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Hmm. Define love.

I have stuck to my spouse through some events and personality flaws that would have been divorce-worthy for other people.
Is that love?

[/quote]

Yes! I think this is the real question. When I was in my mid-20's, I was talking to my mom. She and my dad had been married over 30 years at that point (and still are), and by ALL accounts have a wonderful relationship: they laugh together, share hobbies and spend as much free time together as they can, they know each other in and out and really light up when talking about each other. My dad openly adores her, and watching their interactions you just SEE the connection. They have a great life together. But anyways, my mom and I were talking that about all kinds of stuff that day, and I asked her outright: "Do you love dad?". She got quiet for a minute and then said "You know...love is a funny word. I certainly can't imagine my life without him". She said it very matter-of-fairly and in no way was she conveying sadness or disappointment, just saying that's how it is by that point. I think it depends what you mean by "love" - I believe if you ask most analytical, reflective people they will draw a hard distinction between the rush-like excitement of falling in love and the initial newness of it, and the sort of comfortable love that comes with building a long and enduring life together and going through all the ups and downs, both growing and changing and choosing to stay together.

Personally, I'm in my 30's and have seen more struggle in [b]friends that had intense, passionate courtships and believed they were marrying their "soulmate" [/b]because it's almost like they then expected everything to always be easy. When they inevitably hit hard patches, it was much much rougher and they weren't used to having to put in the work on their relationship. Whereas others compromised on intense passion in exchange for steady, good-hearted men and went into marriage with their eyes open...and those marriages have tended to fare better.

I do think it depends not only on knowing yourself and your personal needs, but also how you define love and what exactly you expect out of it 5/10/20+ years down the road. [/quote]

A lot of those marriages break up ![/quote]

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