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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.

It is petty. I don't have much respect for this woman because she's using the child support to stay at home and bankroll her lifestyle while her kids are in school full time. It's frustrating that my brother is holding up his end of the bargain but it's never enough for her.

Here is the thing: [b]my brother is not a responsible person in his personal life. [/b]He's been notoriously single and hasn't had positive relationships. She knew this going in but wanted him to change. I think she expected him to change once she got pregnant and he didn't, in fact it may have gotten worse. I suspect she had feelings for him and wanted more than a one night stand but he couldn't give that to her so she's resentful and takes it out on him by calling him a deadbeat.

That being said, I've been judgmental. I only know my brothers side of the story. My niece is pretty awesome and I may feel differently if I put in effort to developing a relationship with the mother of his child. [/quote]

You admit that your brother is irresponsible and bad at relationships, but you dump all the judgment on the mother of his child.  Even knowing that you only know one side of the story.

And who cares whether or not she works?  He pays her the child support he owes.  He's going to owe her the same amount whether or not she works.  It's not like she's living large on $50,000 a year.  I don't know what she was earning before and it's not clear how old your brother's kid is, but daycare eats up a ton of money.  If her salary before wasn't very high, then child care expenses could eat up the money.

And the stuff about her feelings is all speculation.  Just stop.  The relationship is between her and your brother.  They have to work this out, and frankly, this sounds like a situation where neither party is blame-free.  Maybe she really liked him, had a ONS because she really liked him and not for some nefarious motive, and she's hurt and frustrated that he's rarely around.  Maybe he promised things he didn't deliver or expressed feelings that weren't real.  Maybe she made a mistake and now she's doing the best she can.  Maybe she's just immature, not calculating.  [/quote]

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