Reply to Kids vs. career: New top job with travel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks everyone. The back and forth here is exactly what I have been doing in my head.

We have a good HHI and no debt and are able to comfortably meet all our financial goals on our current income.

The salary increase after tax would more than cover any incremental expenses due to nanny. time crunch issues etc.

DH is our main breadwinner pulling in 70% of our HHI. Hes in his late 40s . Due to job stress and job insecurity issues I am not sure how long he will continue to have his earning capacity.  I can support our family on my current salary.

The new salary would put us 55% (DH)/45% (me) in terms of salary distribution.  FWIW, DH has said he will scale back travel when he can to accommodate me.

So financially, we dont really need the money but its a big enough increase to make it worth it and insulate us from the vagaries of the job market.

On the kids front - the kids are 6 & 8, and (touchwood) doing well. Our nanny has been with us for 3 years and knows their schedule, after school activities and friends. She also does light housework laundry etc so all that will be under control.

However, there is no doubt that i am the primary parent and their emotional anchor. The travel schedule means that i will see less of them and that is what is holding me back.

Im interested in PPs who have said they know families who did this and it has always ended in disaster. Can you give more details. At my end I dont know any families who do this.

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The key to making this work is your DH's willingness to be the primary parent during the weeks that he does not travel.  He will have to get home at a reasonable time to do the dinner, homework, bedtime routines.  You can schedule your overnight travel on the other weeks.  Keeping the calendar is also key. You will have to set a schedule to determine whose travel schedule comes first on which week.   Having a reliable nanny that can be very flexible is also important.  Has your DH ever had to stay home for a sick child (the first day) or come home early to pickup a sick child?  What is his schedule like during the weeks when he is at home? How does he do when he has to change up his schedule on the fly?

Elementary school is a sweet spot as their are still plenty of after school activities and before/after care options around.  You have a few years to iron things out before you hit MS.  At that time, your DH may need to take his turn to the the primary parent on an ongoing basis.  Especially if his career is winding down and yours is heating up (that could be a difficult thing for the both of you). 
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