Reply to Rant re DH's family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are blaming your DH's family, when your DH is the one who ultimately decided to not ask his family to reimburse him for his education.

Who pays for a child's higher education is a cultural difference between you and your DH and his family and you aren't willing to accept this difference or work through it.  Although for some reason, you were very willing to date and marry outside of your culture.

You're getting to play the victim/martyr, which is the powerful role here.  You get to call all the shots and feel sorry for your poor, poor self.  Not so easy to let that go and choose happiness for your family instead.
[/quote]

I get that. I had issues with my own family but we worked through them because fundamentally we love each other. But I just can't seem to be able to do it with these people because I see what they are doing now as too lit, too late.[/quote]

Because, again, you like being the martyr and wanting everyone to feel badly for you. It's a character defect (and likely happens other places in your life too). If you're serious about therapy, get it. I grew up with a mom like you (and actually didn't get to see my cousins for a decade because of it) and it's miserable.  [/quote]

I am self-aware enough to know it's a character defect and moderate it. Rest assured my kids see their cousins.[/quote]

Do you really want to change?  Because it sounds like all you want to hear is what a saint you are and how right you are. [/quote]

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