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[quote=Anonymous] OP, I don't know why you moved in with him, but doing so has exacerbated an already problematic situation. I think you know that if you marry this man, and especially if you have children with this man, the problems that you have now are only going to get worse. The immediate-term problem is that you have entangled your life with his by moving in with him, and that makes it harder to get out.

I think you know that you do need to get out. If you marry him, the resentment that you feel today will be exponentially increased with each life event and stressor that comes along.

It is hard to get out once you have moved in with the person, but get out you must. Believe us all when we say that this will only get worse (much much worse)  after marriage and children.

This is why I tell my young adult children not to move in with a romantic partner unless and until they are ready to commit to marriage. Once you move in, it is much more difficult to disentangle your life from the life of your partner, and so the default become staying together, whether or not that is the right thing to do.  The decision to marry should not be made out of inertia. [/quote]

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