Reply to Help me understand autism

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Help me understand autism"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^
[b]I[/b] ignore the behavior.  I'm interested in knowing how to talk to the other children in the group about this apparent no-consequence bad behavior.  Also, if this bad behavior is directed at another kid, I actually DON'T think it should be ignored.  I think it's unfair to make one child suffer because another child has a disability.  Again, what I am asking here is how to coach the other kids on how to deal with him.  His parents aren't really helping in that regard.  We like them but it is getting to a point where doing things with them is just not fun because inevitably some kid will get upset over something he does.[/quote]

You just tell them that everyone's brain works differently and everyone's parent have different rules and different types of consequences for how they deal with behavior. I don't know why this is even a special needs question. This type of situation comes up with my NT kids and they don't question why every kid's parents reacts differently to the same type of behavior. Little Johnny who is on a sports team says bad words all the time. His parents ignore it. If DS says a bad word I immediately pull him from his activity and make him have a time out and when he gets home he loses a privilege. I have a friend who is very extreme and automatically makes her child lose a month of screen time if he utters a bad word. I think all of these approaches are fine and need to be tailored to the child.

One friend pushed my child and screamed at him during a sports practice recently. I saw the whole thing and my child did nothing to provoke this behavior. The other parent was there as well and did nothing and offered no apology. It kind of annoyed me but I don't judge. I'm sure they are dealing with it in their own way. My child knows not to judge and never said a word about the other parent not doing anything. He knows that if it had been the other way around he would have been in huge trouble.

I think the issue is your own attitude about how the parents handle their child is rubbing off on your children. If you don't agree with their parenting you shouldn't be friends. I would rather not have a "friend" who judges me like this.[/quote]

So you are essentially saying that if the kid is difficult to be around, we should stop hanging out with them because it's my problem, not their's.  Got it.  With that attitude, he won't have any friends.  It's not just me/my kids.  Other friends in this friend group have voiced the same concerns.  I get that everyone parents differently but if you want your kid to have friends, or for other parents to help their kids understand and navigate this friendship, you have to help us out.  The things this particular kid does is not typical age appropriate behavior (abviously) which makes the other kids feel uneasy and a little freaked out/shocked, like they don't know what to do or how to react, so they have started ignoring/excluding/avoiding him.  It's not so much judgment but frustration. We all want to help these kids remain friends but it's hard to do when he alienates everyone.[/quote]
Don't you think if there was some magic way to parent out autism they would? Either you care enough about your relationship with the parents to deal with their difficult son or you don't.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics