Reply to At the end of my rope with low sex drive husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the bait-and-switch poster: did the switch from frequent sex to no sex happen after kids?  Because I know I had a fair amount of sex before I had my kid, but now, honestly, I'm tired and busy as hell so it's just not a priority like it was when I was in my 20's or early 30's and mostly unencumbered by adult life.  (other than the job and the mortgage.)

Difference in our situations is that I'm a single mom who isn't in a relationship.  So I'm not letting anyone down if I am not having sex.  (just myself.)[/quote]

Yes, following our kids, she lost all interest in sex. Like you, she was too tired, too busy, not a priority. Sorry to say this lady but TOO BAD, SO SAD! If you can't handle being both a mom AND a wife, then enjoy being a single mom .... with 50% custody.

For me, sex was a relationship dealbreaker, and if she wasn't willing to prioritize our sex life, I was intent on renegotiating our marriage deal.

After trying absolutely everything (multiple "talks", choreplay, his needs/her needs, did the 180, read the textbooks NMMNG and MSLP, worked on myself, marriage counseling, individual therapy, etc) I reached the end of the line.

During the conversation that I expected would end with me declaring Open Marriage (followed by her declaring Divorce) something finally "clicked" for her and she saw that all I wanted was completely reasonable: a normal sex life! Like we used to have. This was many years ago and we remain married with a regular sex life. Agree it's certainly all "just for me" but she has a loving attitude and puts on a believable performance in bed.

My point is: do not accept an unhappy sexless marriage. Be crystal clear about your needs. If your partner will no longer meet them, declare Open Marriage.[/quote]

Wow.  I can't imagine why she doesn't want to sleep with you!  [/quote]

Sadly he doesn't see it. It's quite possible his DW has a bigger plan in place. Actually if he is married I think he's the one his wife avoids. [/quote]

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