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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the bait-and-switch poster: did the switch from frequent sex to no sex happen after kids?  Because I know I had a fair amount of sex before I had my kid, but now, honestly, I'm tired and busy as hell so it's just not a priority like it was when I was in my 20's or early 30's and mostly unencumbered by adult life.  (other than the job and the mortgage.)[/quote]

My DW definitely stopped wanting to have sex so much after we had DS.  I'm not complaining about bait-and-switch, because I had hints of the problem well in advance - even of marriage.  Like the loss of attraction poster, I have the problem that DW has gained a lot and not really lost it.  I still find her attractive, but between my age (and I'm sure lower T) and her weight gain, I'm not able to carry the full burden of providing all the attraction, initiation and libido for us both.  I want a partner who want to have sex with me, not merely acquiesce to it.  I think DW does have some libido, but the weight gain has made her so inhibited that she will never initiate, rejects receiving oral, and pretty much does the lights-out, under-the-covers, missionary-only routine.  I am no longer the 18 year old who would happily take any opportunity.  So, I don't initiate much, and if I don't initiate, nothing happens at all.

DS is 2, and I hear this all gets better after the youngest is 5, so I'm holding out for that.  I love DW very much, and am attracted to her, so I'm not going for the open marriage or AP (because I think either would be crushing for her), and I definitely do not want a divorce, but if this doesn't get better in a few more years, then I'll reconsider.[/quote]

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