Reply to dealing with in-laws after infidelity

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "dealing with in-laws after infidelity"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]take your medicine.  They will never like you again, but at least you have your wife.

My wife bad-mouthed me to her family when we weren't getting along (not infidelity based) and they were a little pissed at me.  However, they figured out she was being a spoiled brat and forgave me.

All you can do is be a better husband and see what happens.  Make your wife happy first and don't worry about anything else.

Also, schedule unsupervised visits with your testicles if you can.  I know they have been taken from you, but it's healthy to see them occasionally
[/quote]

Ouch, really? They will never like me again? [/quote]

Not PP, but no, they will never like you again.  You did something horrible and abusive to their child, whom they love dearly and whom they had believed you loved even more dearly.

My spouse cheated on me repeatedly.  I did give him another chance after I found out the first time and kept quiet about his cheating, not telling any family or friends.  But, that was a terrible decision for ME.  It deprived me of support and counsel of the people I most respected at my darkest hour.  But, it was great for my spouse, who got to maintain his facade as a great guy.

Cheating involves maintaining 2 different you's -  one where you appear to be a great husband and one where you are a great person with someone else doing entirely different things.  Cheaters do this because it's easier to lie than present their real selves and allow people to react, perhaps negatively, to that.  Becoming a non-cheater means presenting your real, entire self to all the people with whom you have relationships.  It means learning to to lie or deceive, neither by omission or commission.

I'm a parent and I finally kicked my exDH out after he cheated a second time, because I would never want my kids to grow up thinking that living with such abuse was OK.  That's how her parents feel also.  Once I split, I told my parents everything and there were a tremendous source of support.  I am so lucky that I have a grew up in a great family.

If you want to recover your relationship with her parents, you will have to come clean to them too.  In consultation with your spouse, you have to approach the family and apologize and answer any questions they have.  THey will not be happy with you overnight.  If you want a good relationship with them, you will have to earn it by consistently being honest and helpful and putting her and their interests above your own for many years in order to earn back the trust you broke.

Only consistent long term behavior will change things.  Anything less and they would be bad parents to her, because they know no one should have to live with the kind of pain and uncertainty you have created.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics