Reply to My parents divorce is still impacting me as an adult

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I realize my situation is different in important ways, including that my parents divorced when I was young and my mom is fine, but my dad did something similar. He had two children with a woman on the "terms" that they were hers and he would not be responsible for them and not raise them as his. I found out when I was 30. These two children have grown up their whole life knowing that, basically, their dad didn't want anything to do with them. Obviously this affects how I feel about my dad.

But, regardless of how I feel, he is still my dad and my children's grandfather. He is the only one I have. I could get angry about this and cut him off or whatever else, but then I would be mad and vindictive and wrapped up in his shit too. This is not my circus and not my monkeys. You can't control the bad things that other people do, or the weakness that other people display. If you want to have a relationship going forward with either parent, I would advise you to find a way to let this go, through therapy or otherwise.[/quote]

Why on earth would you want to have a relationship with someone so morally bankrupt, or permit your kids to have a relationship with such a person? If my dad had done something like that, he would have no contact with me or my kids. Your father sounds evil.[/quote]

Apparently it's still her circus. She needs to write him off, go forward. Who knows if those children are your dad's or not considering the woman he's with. Either way, it would be a horrible reminder.

I would help my mom period. Hopefully Karma will get him and the OW.

That's what I would do OP, and stop wasting oxygen on horrid people. It's unnecessary for you and your mom.  [/quote]

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