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[quote=Anonymous]Unless you've lived this personally, your advice is purely abstract. To the PP who is calling anyone who utilizes AL for their parents "heartless," please go jump off a bridge. You may think you know what this is like from your experience as a child in a home with elderly relatives, but you have no clue what it takes to care for someone with even mid-stage Alzheimers - who may be incontinent, unable to eat solid food without risk of aspiration, and unable to be left alone ever. A high-quality nursing or AL facility can be wonderful for everyone, including and especially the elderly parent.

OP I don't know how to help with the adjustment issues, but I'd second the advice to work with the staff - there should be a care manager or a social worker, plus the medical team that oversees the facility.

My father (who had Alzheimers) initially didn't want to move from his home, but adjusted phenomenally well. It also happened to be a wonderful place. But after a year or so and some medical declines, he became obsessed with the telephone. He called all of us a lot, but especially my sibling whom he was closest to. It was really hard for everyone, and my sibling (who was totally devoted to our dad) really got to the breaking point. We didn't block the calls, but the staff helped by trying to minimize his access to a phone, in part because they appreciated that the calls didn't actually comfort him - they only left him more agitated.

We had quarterly conference calls with my father's full medical team after he went into the memory care unit and then skilled nursing. It was very helpful for discussing issues like these and thinking through the strategies for helping him be as comfortable as possible. Good luck OP. [/quote]

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