Reply to S/O. Wanting your kid to go college far out of state

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[quote=Anonymous]Agree that lots of parental input should happen pre-application -- e.g. Every place your DC applies should be some place you're willing to let them attend and there have to be at least a couple of schools where you're pretty sure they'll get in and that you know you'll be able to afford.  If relative or absolute cost and/or taking on debt is an issue, you need to be upfront about that too.  And, of course, every school should also be a school your DC would be happy to attend.  If the goal is a highly selective school, then strategy/timing (EA vs ED vs RD vs rolling admissions) is probably a family discussion as well.

But if you get to the point where the list is such that both parents and kid agree that all options are good options, how to decide can be left up to the kid.  You don't have to specify or enforce a decisionmaking process at that stage (though you may have to remind kid of financial ground rules and what options they take off the table).  Depending on the kid, "left up to the kid" can mean kid asks parent for specific kinds of input.  Mine, for example, wanted to hear all my qualms/best arguments against her top choice and for me to listen and respond honestly to her rebuttals.  Didn't need/want to re-visit.  Didn't need to compare top 3.  Had different (but defensible) criteria/weighting than I did.[/quote]

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