Reply to SAHD not wanting to return to work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- hadn't checked back in a while.

To those asking what would happen if DH went back to work - who would cover sick days; travel days; dr appts; after school etc. We would get a nanny/housekeeper for after school/driving the kids around/light cooking or housekeeping. As for sick days/dr appointments - I am now senior enough in my career that I can take some time off - so it's like I'm expecting DH to cover this stuff in month 4 at a new job.

Reality is - this isn't about money at all. Nor am I looking to quit my job or anything. But I guess I'm just resentful of the fact that he doesn't want to "be tied down" to a job - as if me being tied down to 60 hrs/wk for the last 11 yrs has been the most fun thing ever.

For those saying - well the kids aren't wandering around naked and hungry, so he must be doing something - well yeah, but a LOT less than what I would expect a stay home parent to do. I am not someone who thinks the stay home parent needs to be scrubbing the toilets or cooking 5 course meals (he doesn't - we have a cleaning person; and meals are either defrosting what I've made on weekends and/or takeout most days of the week). But I feel like the person staying home SHOULD do things like laundry, errands, grocery shopping etc. and generally "run the household." He will do those things begrudgingly but only when I nag about it. If we're leaving to go away for a weekend, I'll ask him on Wed. to make sure the kids' laundry is done so we can take off right after school on Friday. Friday rolls around and I leave work early to get home after school to find that he just started the laundry 20 min ago. Or he'll eat/take the kids out to eat dinner and it has happened that I get home at 9 pm and there's nothing for dinner for me -- i.e. didn't even occur to him to grab a takeout order for me as they were leaving the restaurant. His laziness makes me feel like I have a 3rd child.[/quote]

My DH is a SAHD and I, too, would be annoyed if he acted like this. The SAP absolutely should be doing laundry, cooking and errands without being asked.  That is their "job".  My DH does all of those things - including cooking and cleaning  - as well as bigger projects around the house. It would be added stress if I had to remind or ask him to do these things.  I am with you 100%.

I can also sympathize with feeling resentful about the roles.  I love that my DH takes parenting so seriously and wants to contribute to our family in this way, but it would be nice if I could experience that at some point, too.  It's never going to happen for me, though.   [/quote]

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