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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Favoritism and preferential treatment are two different things.  During childhood, my brother was clearly my mom's favorite; she liked him better than me and our other brother and admitted to it once we were older.  Even so, she spoiled me because she and my dad both think that girls should have pretty things.  When I got my driver's license, my parents would excitedly chat about getting me a convertible and discuss what color and model it should be.  When my brothers complained about driving our dad's old van, our parents replied, well K is a girl, you don't expect her to drive an old van, do you??  (FWIW I felt guilty about getting a new car and shared the van.)

After we got married and started having kids, my mother would privately tell me what she would do differently between me and her DILs, saying there are things mothers do for their daughters, not their DILs.  It has nothing to do with preferring daughters over sons.  She wants to bequeath me all her jewelry (not super expensive, but she has a lot) and even though I tell her she should split it between me and SILs (I'm a minimalist and barely wear the jewelry I already have), she outright refuses.  She also feels comfortable staying with my family for weeks at a time, helping with cooking and DD, but as she says, because I'm her daughter, and would not do so with my brothers' families for fear of stepping on DIL's toes.

DH is an only child and when we dated and got married, I was surprised by how clueless he was about family dynamics, especially with siblings.  Sounds like you might be, too.  You should take the perspective that DH's family, as one with siblings, is just something new for you to experience and learn and not be so hurt or offended by any perceived unfairness in treatment.[/quote]

If the SILs have daughters, the jewelry thing may change.  A lot of women understandably don't want to pass down jewelry or other heirlooms to daughters in law because they all know someone whose daughter in law divorced the son and refused to give back the family treasures.  He offended but it's totally reasonable.  But most women will keep their jewelry until they are old, at which point they're happy to split it between all the grand-daughters.[/quote]

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