Reply to how could I have handled this better -- found self in argument with both DS, 3 and DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Second, "He insists I owe him an apology for not immediately removing my hand from his arm when he asked me to do so -- I am frankly just shocked that I apparently need to ask my husband to touch his arm"  You do owe him an apology.  [b]It isn't that you need permission, it's that he asked you to stop and you didn't.[/b]  Whatever the reason (you being "appalled," which we'll get to in a minute) he's right.  Your formulation of the situation is like your kid grabbing a cookie, you telling him to drop it, him not doing it, you getting mad, and him saying, "I didn't know I needed permission to have a cookie."  Not the issue at all.[/quote]

THIS.  [/quote]

Not just the DH.  A 4 year old who has opinions about how he is touched or who is touching him isn't "manipulating".  He's asserting his right to autonomy in his own body.

If your son doesn't want a hug or back rub from you, you don't hug or rub him.  The fact that he wants a hug or a back rub from someone else is irrelevant.  [/quote]

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