Reply to I feel completely unappreciated by my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What kid appreciates their parents until they themselves are parents?[/quote]

I'm a parent and don't appreciate that my mother was a SAHM.  My brother and I BEGGED her to get a job.  She watched tv or slept all day. We'd come home at 2:30 from middle school and she wouldn't have cleaned up from breakfast. She'd have left us a note to wake her 15 minutes before our dad was coming home or 15 minutes before she had to drive us somewhere.  She never cleaned the house. She once tried to tell us she washed the outside of the washing machine and dryer and my brother and I burst out laughing.  When we were home sick we just watched tv with her - she didn't actively do anything for us.  She'd always try to claim she was so busy when we were at school, making calls and doing things.  But nothing was done. Our dad did the laundry each night when he got home from work starting a load before he cooked dinner, and then we helped fold and put away. He ironed on weekends. We cleaned with him on weekends. Sometimes my mom cleaned up from dinner.

Some stay at home parents really ARE doing a lot but some are deluding themselves into thinking they're being productive.[/quote]

Ummmm. . . you do realize she probably had/has some psychiatric issues, right? This is so sad that as an adult you can't look back at her behavior and realize something else was going on besides her being a shitty parent that didn't care about you.[/quote]

NP here. It is pretty cruel to ask a child who was raised like this to "show appreciation" based only on a single paragraph and broad assumptions about the mother's mental healh. I don't understand the need on this board to immediately diagnose any woman who struggles or struggled with SAH with some sort of severe mental illness. Maybe PPs mom was clinically depressed, but maybe she wasn't. How can you possibly know from what the original poster wrote? In either case, why on earth are you and the other PP who said the same thing expecting her child to "show appreciation" and going on about how it's "so sad" that she isn't? Why don't [i]you[/i] try showing some compassion before demanding it of others?

DCUM is so unforgiving and isolating of both women who don't like or struggle emotionally with SAH and their kids who -- through no choice of their own -- struggled alongside those moms. It is so Stepford here sometimes. [/quote]

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