Reply to My MIL sucks- should I even care?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]People asked and I answered. If she spent time with my family and more specifically my son I wouldn't complain. Spending time together is worth more then $$$. [b]She just seems to let our family down in every way. [/b]I've been talking a lot to DH about her upcoming visit and I think airing my issues with his mother has helped. He understands and feels similar but explained that this is his mom and she is who she is. He's spent years in therapy dealing with his family issues with her. He never really knew how I felt and airing it helped. Trust me, I'm ready to not give a s!!t.[/quote]

I don't mean this in a snarky way but I think you should spend some time in therapy yourself. [b] You have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations.  That's on you, not her.  [/b]I have no doubt your DH has issues but you clearly have some of your own.  Children don't miss absent grandparents.  They don't see them enough to have a strong bond.  Her not spending time with your DS isn't an issue for him unless you turn it into an issue.  You're also not making it any easier for your DH.  It may have helped you to air your feelings but I can't imagine how it helped him.  [/quote]
+1 I understand being disappointed that you don't have the MIL you might have envisioned before meeting DH/getting married. But why haven't you adjusted your expectations?

MIL is who she is. Your DH has told you what she's like. You've seen it yourself. So at this point, how is she letting you down? You are letting yourself down by having unrealistic expectations that set you up for disappointment and resentment.[/quote]

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